Ineffable Ontological Detanglement .: Introspective Assistance & Mental Analysis Manual
You know what I want to do is maybe I don't know I like cars I think maybe I guess okay sure there fine yeah okay I guess that one still fits within the... Dad... Image. I guess okay. It's not as good a car as I used to have... Back... In my... Adorable. Twenties. That was... ADORABLE, silly... Childish... I thought I was so not adorable I was so... Adorable. Adorable like my adorable wife and kids. And adorable... ... ... ... Me. Adorable ME. FUCK. Adorable life. I guess there's still beer... Sometimes. Not usually. I don't want to be one of THOSE societal standard dads that's not adorable. There's television. There's ignoring the wife and kids I do this for as I watch television. No I'm not depressed I'm normal. Normal and masculine. I wonder when dead's on. D-... When baseball's on.
...
You've wasted your life.
Societal standard dad has no friends. Nobody likes you. You're boring. Go off and be with your wife and kids. I guess maybe sometimes you'll find some other societal standard dads, talk about the things in your garage. They don't really like you either, they're not really your friend, they just accept you. They know we're doing this now, this is just life now. They want to punch you in your face, just as you want to punch all of them in their face. You all see something in each other... Something. Something that makes you very angry.
Societal standard dad simplifies himself for his children, for his wife's stupid family who expect societal standard dad and expect his wife to wish for societal standard dad. Now your wife is happy and comfortable with a generic shell that is in no way the man she wished to marry. Together you enter the simple life of simple thinking, it drives you conservative, it drives you into a joke to your children, dreading the day they will be expected to present this. You call them adorable, inform them you have simplified them into a silly harmless "No I'll never be LAME like you dad."
It isn't going to behaviour alterate you into off-communication, it feels normal to you, it becomes you, this is the process of maturity. Your wife is a little less alterated than you, that's why you can still love her, but, often times a little bit she went with you.
We do this because we do this, this is the thing we do because this is the thing we do. You didn't want this, your wife didn't want this, your kids don't want this, society doesn't want this. Work life was separated from home life, your time and behaviour was standardized, you're an irrelevant wage unit. The provider. This is what stability looks like. It's not like the past when this was a distant shadow of a father figure, we're not like that anymore, it's evolved, now it's very warm and fatherly. Society glitched. Go off and have a super adorable super simple midlife crisis.
You're free! What the fuck... Now. Fucking. Societal standard dad on mescaline. Uuhhh. Okay, well, I guess I'll just have to show everybody who sees me be this The Society of Social Disturbance.